The Beauty of Conspiracy Theories...

The other option is to focus on the positive news and those who hold the highest frequency of light, helping you to see the bigger picture. Don’t be ignorant of those who struggle and are living in fear, but rather have the deepest compassion for them and keep your own vibration high, so they can benefit from it. 

There are always plenty around, but we are flooded with them right now, when everyone is trying to make sense out of a let’s say “unusual situation” 

Remember that you have a choice in everything. You can choose to get involved in the “lower levels” of conspiracy, which most likely will leave you fearful, disempowered, hopeless and confused. That then leads to you vibrating on a low frequency which will affect not only your own wellbeing, but that of the whole collective. 

That doesn’t sound very helpful for anyone, right?Also, don’t feel guilty about being ok with it all or actually quite enjoying your little bubble and this “collective retreat”. Be grateful and make offerings to Mother Earth to restore balance. 

Again, the biggest contribution you can make right now and always is keeping your vibes high, working on yourself and looking at permanent changes that you can make as an individual, that will have a positive impact on the planet and her people. 

No one can make sense of this situation, no one knows how long this will last and what long lasting changes we will see. 

If the conspiracy theories are really bugging you and you keep getting confronted with them, then that’s also a choice you are making, right? 

Maybe your soul chooses to focus on this right now in order to learn about discernment, to remember and trust your own inner wisdom and to no longer give your power away to anything or anyone! 

What makes your heart feel good? It doesn’t matter what is it. Don’t question it, just do as much of it as you can! 

And always remember...You are loved beyond your wildest imagination ❤️

Hamaima - Where the heart of the Universe is born 

This is all for you ⭐️

There are two different ways of viewing the current situation we find ourselves in on this planet right now: 

One is fear based as we feel anxious about the unknown. What is going to happen? How will we survive? We buy into the conspiracy theories and the belief system that “dark forces” are behind it all. 

The other way is the understanding that all is love and that we are receiving a great gift right now. We have the realisation that everything is happening just for us and through us.

We all experience this situation through our own filters depending on our belief systems, how we live, the work we do, the circles we move in...

The perfect scenario has been created (or better, we have created it ourselves) to get us exactly to the point and place where we need to be. 

Through the choices we make now more than ever we create our own reality. 

Considering the chaotic state our planet and her people have been in, a divine intervention was necessary and overdue. On a collective soul level we have agreed on something that would bring everything to a hold; in this case the corona virus. 

And it really doesn’t matter if it’s all blown out of proportion or whichever “forces” we think might be involved.... All of it has been perfectly orchestrated to give every single one of us exactly what we need. 

The lock downs will bring us to our core wounding possibly more intensely than ever and we will start to see the insanity of the way we have lived our lives. 

Yesterday in a beautiful woodland in my home country Germany I lay in the arms of Mother Earth, hysterically laughing and crying at the same time about the cosmic joke, re-visiting my cosmic birth trauma once again, remembering.... who I am.

Laughing at myself (with compassion) about all the hang ups, the heart breaks, the disagreements I have had. Laughing at and forgiving my judgment of myself and others, recognising that behind all of it is a little girl, that feels at times unloved, unworthy, lonely and fragile. She is looking for someone or something to make her feel whole again. 

But! There is only me in the whole wide universe and at the same time there is only you experiencing everything in your own beautiful way. Nothing else. You are everything and nothing at the same time. A paradox if there has ever been one. 

We are in charge of it all. All it comes down to is you and when you look at the complexity of it all, then it really is awe inspiring. 

However it does not have to be complex at all. Actually it is pretty simple once we get back into tune with the rhythm of the earth and the cycles of the moon. 

All of the teachings I have received over the last 10 years have just integrated a little bit more. I have understood what it is that makes me happy, what I am yearning for and where my home is. 

And after living a Nomadic life style more or less since 2015 I am beyond excited about going home. 

I have everything I need and I was fortunate enough to spend time with indigenous people from many different traditions. But for now there is only one place I want to be, to integrate, to share, to live a simple life amongst my tribe in harmony with nature. 

I am wishing you from the bottom of my heart that you will take this time to go within, to be able to come to your own realisations of what parts of you still need healing. Do not be afraid of what you might find as there really is nothing to fear. 

Many struggle right now and I totally want to acknowledge the difficult situation you might find yourself in. But know that this too shall pass and that you can transmute and use the grief and struggle as a portal for transformation.
I recently received a message from Mother Earth, which hopefully you find helpful. 

Message from Mother Earth

Be grounded 

Be strong 

Be yourself 

Hold space for your inner child and others who might be in fear

Share your energy in a way that feels natural to you 

Be free of judgement as all experiences are equally valid and beautiful 

Keep speaking to me, singing to me, laying on me, praying for me, caring for me 

I know what I am doing 

I am at a point in my evolution where I re-balance my energies and take my power back

You are my child and I love you very much

So most importantly please forgive yourself and have patience.  

Take this time to look at the aspects in you that feel separate. There is a loneliness in you,  a feeling that you don’t belong here, but let me tell you, for now you do! 

And all souls who have incarnated at this time of the prophecies belong here, too, as they have significant parts to play in my transformation and the transformation of Humankind. 

Dear child. Stay present, stay in your heart and know that you are loved and safe. All is well.

Please reach out to me if you need support. 

You are loved beyond your wildest imagination ❤️ 

Please forgive me 🔥

Beautiful soul ✨🌈❤️

This has been a massive year and an even bigger decade for all of us. And we have made it! This is it. Take time to look back and reflect on how far you have come my dear friend. 

Fly high in the sky and take the eagle perspective so you can see the bigger picture. It all will become clearer and you will marvel at the perfection of creation and yourself as the creator/creatrix.

Everything is here FOR us .....The trials and tribulations, the joy and the ecstasy and all the in-betweens. Stay present, be kind and compassionate, forgive yourself and don’t take anything personally. 

Remember the agreements you have made before you incarnated into this Human form. One skin after the other is shedding now and the energies are supporting this or better are urging us to do so. You won’t be able to hide from your Self and fool your Self any longer. Trust me, it will be much easier to let go and enjoy the ride amongst the members of your tribe.

My life has changed significantly over the last 10 years. I have changed my career and life style and I have lived half of the decade as a Nomad. I got married and separated (twice).

I have studied different spiritual traditions in many places, have made those teachings my own if they resonated and let go of them if they didn’t anymore.

Friends, teachers and collaborators have come and gone. 

I have made mistakes as well as beautiful contributions. 

I have laughed, I have cried, I have loved and I have held grudges. I have experienced ecstasy and total despair. 

I have projected my wounding onto others and have been projected onto many times.

I have shown mercy and grace and have lashed out to defend myself.

I have given my power away to spiritual teachers and have claimed it back. My spirit was tamed only to be set free and be even wilder than before. 

“I have drunk with the Shamans, I sat with the Buddhas from the Amazon to the East.
I sang in temples of all persuasions
looking for that sweet release. 
Spiritual warrior, celestial spirit 
Just travelling through... Witnessing and waiting patiently for these divine moments of truth....” (From the song “The Journey” by Ravi)!

I have learned so much from every single soul that has been part of my journey (which all souls are really) and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for playing out your parts of our soul contracts so beautifully. 

In a recent ceremony I had an opportunity to reflect on the situations in my life that I am not necessarily so proud of.

Especially in this last year it seems that I had interactions with friends and people I worked with, in which I have not been the best I could have been and caused some pain. 

Although I feel that the final outcomes of these interactions are totally aligned with my journey and my own vibration, I recognise, that I could have handled the situations with more grace, compassion and love. 

I know that I have upset a few people this year and this has never been my intention. 

The reasons for this have either been a lack of communication, making assumptions, having high expectations, feeling personally offended or not appreciated enough and the list goes on. 

The Kali sword has possibly come out one too many times..... 

If you have been on the receiving end of this energy, then I would like to ask you sincerely for your forgiveness. Please know that I love you, I see you, I celebrate your successes and I humbly bow to you. 

Thank you for teaching me and helping me getting to know those parts of myself that might still be hidden and unloved.

I am sorry

Please forgive me 

I thank you 

I love you 

(Ho’oponopono Hawaiian Healing Prayer)

....and I take full responsibility for everything.

Hamaima - Where the heart of the Universe is born ❤️

The brilliant light of the darkness

Beautiful Soul

You might find yourself in a place of darkness right now or in a place of lightness....Wherever you might be is perfect and I am there with you. 

We are approaching the solstice, a powerful time for self-reflection and I invite you to create sacred space to do this on the 21st of December. 

All of you have shown immense courage to once again incarnate into human form despite your knowledge on a soul level, that you will most likely forget your true origin and your magic when you “land” here. 

“Notice how stubborn your joy of life must be that you have ventured once again to take the leap... Here you are in body and flesh. You again felt that longing - you are alive, you feel, you are here, and that is a miracle of love and trust. Your love, beauty and light are inexhaustible and you are carriers of Oneness on Earth”.- From the Jeshua Channelings 

You came here to continue to learn and evolve. You came here as part of the collective consciousness with your own unique vibration and purpose. 

The pain and challenges you might experience are part of a grander plan, which you have co-created before you incarnated.

But please don’t feel powerless and hopeless. 

With increased consciousness you will navigate those challenges (or better opportunities) with more ease and you will be able to see the blessings in everything you experience. 

And most importantly don’t be afraid of the darkness. 

If you want to hold a higher vibration of light you will have to visit the darkest places of your inner realm. 

As Rumi said so beautifully: “The wound is where the light enters”

Instead of going into the darkness as a victim however, go with an open courageous heart and with a trusted guide by your side. 

Go and find those abandoned parts of yourself. Visualise your fear, your shame, your guilt, your despair as neglected children. What these children want is for you to see them, love them, to no longer make them wrong, to embrace them and fully acknowledge them as parts of you, which make you the magnificent being that you are. 

Feel all those feelings in their full immensity. A short while is enough. What is needed is your acknowledgement without judgement - Your unconditional love for everything without exception. 

We are going through phases in life just as Grandmother Moon is teaching us so beautifully - death and rebirth each month. 

Please no longer shy away from looking deep within. Use the breath to surrender and go even deeper, let go.... 

Your resistance is what makes this so painful. Do not be afraid. All is made of love and everything is here for you. 

In the darkest darkness lay the seeds for the most brilliant light, a vibration so high, that you could have never dreamt of. Your potential is limitless magical beings of light. 

Mother Earth has provided us with powerful tools to do this work. Connect to this ancient wisdom and make it your own, because in your heart you are your ancestors, you are the earth, you are the sky, you are the sun and the moon. 

And most importantly you are LOVE ❤️

The (my) Divine Masculine

Beautiful eternal souls ✨🌈✨

I sat in ceremony today with one of my teachers contemplating about my so called spiritual teachers that I had or still have in my life; most of them being men. 

It has always been very important to me to have “a teacher” And the search has taken me to faraway lands. Funnily enough I never felt that anyone saw me as their student despite all of my efforts.... 

With one recent exception: Ail Ansari. Thank you ❤️

What came to me today (and it had crossed my mind before, but I ignored it, because I wasn’t ready to see this truth) is that I was looking for a father figure in those teachers. Someone who shows me new things, passes on their wisdom, teaches me with compassion and patience, praises me and is occasionally strict to help me step into my power. 

I didn’t really have a positive male role model when I grew up with my father being caught up in inner child wounding his whole life, one of my brothers being a heroin addict and my other brother wasn’t really present. 

At the age of 14 I chose a partner aged 18 and I would usually go for men, who are quite a bit older than me. 

My ex-husband is actually younger than me, but  there are aspects of him fulfilling that desire to be protected, provided for and thinking I needed an external “voice of reason”.

So when we separated at the beginning of this year it broke my heart, because more than losing a lover, I felt I had lost that “father figure”, which is very unhealthy for a romantic relationship obviously... However it always comes down to our inner child that cries out for love, wanting to feel safe and looked after. As long as that child is wounded we will play out our old stories especially in relationships. 

Today in ceremony it became very clear, what I am looking for is the divine masculine, my king, who I have been looking for outside of myself once again. 

(this entire post is inspired by my beautiful friend, priestess of Sophia - Magdalene Annabel du Boulay and her recent piece of writing about “the inner king” on Instagram @annabelduboulay)

With all the excitement about the rising of the sacred feminine, bringing her in so strongly, getting a huge Mary Magdalene serpent tattoo, holding women circles and retreats, I totally forgot about the sacred masculine. 

Actually I hadn’t only forgotten, I had made my own masculine wrong, saying it’s distorted, that I had control issues, I am too strong and uncompromising, too rigid blah, blah, blah.... 

There have been many beautiful men, brothers, friends, teachers, lovers in my life, who have been teaching me (in sometimes obvious, other times completely unexpected ways) that I have to find my divine masculine within, my inner king, feel the natural strength, the clarity, perseverance, power to express and manifest. Only with this energy can I bring my light into the world. 

There have been life times where I myself misused the male energy, no doubt, where I experimented with the energies of power and domination, followed by life times of being a victim of aggression with a resistance in my heart to defend myself.

But both masculine and feminine energies need to be in balance and therefore it is important to make peace with any previous distortions of either of those two energies. 

Who has helped me doing this most, is my ultimate teacher, my higher self which I recently named Hamaima, the spiritual name that has been given to me a few years ago (meaning: where the heart of the universe is born).

For me Hamaima stands for a place in me, a state where masculine and feminine energies complement each other, are in perfect balance and tantric union, gentle and strong at the same time. A place of universal, unconditional love where the sacred feminine and sacred masculine are interwoven in a magical eternal dance of creation.

I pray that each day a bit more I will be able to reside in this place, feel at home wherever I am, feel whole and complete in myself and most importantly know that I am loved. 
 

May we all meet in this place of perfect harmony, sit in sacred circles, enjoy each others’ company, share our stories, songs and gifts. May we love each other in these challenging times. May we be observers with the deepest compassion in our hearts, but not get involved in the dramas that are playing out right now. All is well ✨✨✨